My kids are always begging me to go on their field trips. Being a working Mom can make this a challenge but I do all I can to find ways to volunteer a few times a year.  I got that chance yesterday.

The school’s theme this year is “Making a difference”.   So, on this day we were walking from the school to a nearby public park and open space to pull weeds and pick up trash.

Full disclosure, other than knowing how thrilled my 7 year old daughter would be, I was not looking forward to it.  I was exhausted after getting only 3 hours of sleep and getting up at 3 am to work.  But I was not going to let her down.  Having her jump into my arms when I arrived at school saying “MOMMY!” was worth the drained headache I knew I would have all day.  She loves it when I come to school.

We took off on our trek across the busy commercial area to the park and I was assigned the job of the “caboose”.  Miss Valenti, our second grade teacher was the “line leader”.

My mood was a little hurried and I felt impatient, I couldn’t get the herd of twenty one 7 year olds to stay on the same block.  I told myself to hang in there, absorb the time with the kids and not worry about my phone, work and the grocery shopping I needed to do for dinner.

Within minutes I realized that I had to be present for these kids, for their fun and for their safety. And then I got my first lesson…

“Miss Tysdal, can I carry that backpack for you?”  One of the kids was collecting everyone’s backpack and being a “backpack pack rat”.  I was touched and I obliged. She was so cute with her small frame and 10 backpacks over her shoulder.

Another little girl had her leftover lunch out on the walk. She was tired and couldn’t keep up because she hadn’t finished lunch at school. Everyone wanted her wheat-thins.  She ate a few and handed out the rest. 

Then the little boy who insisted on being the “caboose” himself even though I was supposed to be sure they all were ahead of me.  He wanted to lag behind so he could do something I told him not to do.  He stopped every 5 feet to scan the grass for his favorite “trash”.  He would carefully take his baggy and was set on fulfilling his mission that day to pick up dog poop.  Needless to say, I wasn’t thrilled but I let him do it.  I found a trash can for him but he said, “no I want to carry it, I like the way it smells”.   Two minutes later I had a bag of poop hit my head.  I found the nearest trash can myself.  I couldn’t help but wonder if this is what I have in ahead with a 2 year old son.

And when we got to the park, the weeds were pulled with gusto and ambivalence. I’ve never seen kids so happy to do a chore!! I asked them to stop at my house for a 10 minute weed pulling session but no one liked that idea.

My daughter’s teacher was so patient.  She amazed me with her skills as a teacher. I stopped more than once to watch her interact. I have such appreciation for those who can reach the hearts of children. She has that gift.  

There was the typical fight over toys or this time, tools. One student was upset because her partner wasn’t sharing the trowel and she wanted to dig! They had a few words but when we returned to class I saw her write a note and fold it up. The note read, “ I’m sorry I was mean. I was just mad. Will you be my friend?”.  I wanted to cry when I saw her hide it in her friend’s desk and walk away only to watch from the other side of the room.

And the student who couldn’t “hold it’ on the long walk and came back walking funny and trying to hide her accident so the other 2nd graders wouldn’t know.  I took a detour on the way back to class to stop in the school office.  A change of clothing and a ziplock to take home some wet khakis and it was like nothing happened.

When we got home after school I was tired but emotionally fulfilled. I went through the lessons I learned that day. And to think, I almost took a nap instead.

1. Making a difference feels good 
2. Be more present and put away the phone
3. Use patience like a second grade teacher 
4. Carry someone else’s load every once in a while 
5. Always forgive even it’s easier to do in a folded up note 
6. Always eat lunch 
7. Share your trowel 
8. Don’t lag behind 
9. Go potty before leaving 
10. Don’t throw poop

Thanks kids. I loved spending the afternoon with you!

I met a man today who gave me something that will always have special meaning. It's a pin with a woman's initials. Here's some background on why it matters...

The memory of that one night still lingers. It wasn't a position the 21 year old woman ever thought she would be in. She was assaulted by someone she didn't know, in a public place. The very large and muscular man reached between her legs. She did her best to push him away but he was more than twice her size and he wouldn't let go. He insisted that she "liked it" and that she "wanted more". His eyes darted straight into hers in a way that said, "Don't dare tell me no". She was afraid, disgusted and powerless. When he let go, she bolted away feeling relief like she had never known before.

She went home that night telling herself that she would never think of it again, feeling like she had escaped what could have been a much more serious situation. She then discovered more about the man who had assaulted her. He was a college football player known to be trouble even before being recruited to play for the University of Nebraska. A 305 pound, six-foot-two inch linebacker coached by Tom Osborne, one of the best known men in NCAA history.

The young woman started hearing stories from fellow students about other women who were assaulted, even raped by the same man. His name was Christian Peter. It was then that she decided to go to the police, with the hope that others would also come forward. Through her college graduation, her first job, even her engagement to the love of her life, she endured the scrutiny of football fans and the legal proceedings that went along with pressing sexual assault charges against a high profile athlete. Nearly two years after the assault, Peter pleaded "no contest" to third degree sexual assault and was sentenced to 18 months probation. While at the University of Nebraska he was arrested 8 times for various violations but never missed a football game. The Cornhuskers won the national football championship in 1995 and met the President at a private ceremony in Washington.

The next year Peter was drafted to play professional football for the New England Patriots. After learning of his background of violence against women, the owner of the Patriots did something a team owner had never done before. He cut Peter from the team just days after the draft. It was the first time in the league's 75 year history that a player had been relinquished after the draft and before spring training. It was a move that spoke volumes and the man behind it was a rookie owner in the NFL. Successful and powerful in his own right, businessman and Patriots owner Robert Kraft made a statement that set off a firestorm in the New England area. Kraft said that Peter's behavior was "incompatible with our organization's standards of acceptable conduct."

The young woman in Nebraska was by this time a working professional and had left her home state. The enormous decision by Mr. Kraft meant more to her than anyone knew. Her hope was that it would lead Peter to get professional help and it would encourage other women and victims to have faith. It said to her that Kraft was a man who believed in morality over sports, the safety of women over making money and building a team around core values and good leaders. All things that we don't have enough of in today's world. All lessons we should be teaching our kids at a young age.

I had the extreme honor of meeting Mr. Kraft in what is now almost 19 years since that incident that left me with nightmares as a young woman. When he walked into the room he shook my hand and said, "Is your name Natalie?" I said, "yes". He replied, "My sweetheart's middle name was Natalie and she died earlier this year, you would have really like her." I felt an immediate connection. Myra Kraft was a well known philanthropist who gave more than just money to many causes. She was known as an amazing and classy woman who put character above all else. Mr. Kraft thanked me for having the courage to do the right thing. I thanked him for doing the same.

I told him how my father had given me an old and meaningful coin when I was 21, I carry it with me when I need courage. I had it with me that day and I had purchased a new coin that I gave to him. He gave me a pin with his wife's initials representing the foundation he created in her name.

With three kids of mine own now, all too young to understand the magnitude of this meeting, my hope is that the world they live in will one day have more role models with character and the courage to do what's right.

They touch our lives in a special way. For those of you who don't have pets, you don't have to read this. I know it's not something everyone can relate to. As long as I can remember I have had animals in my life. I remember moving from Nebraska to California with our cocker spaniel who had just delivered *10* puppies. We traveled with them in the back of my Mom's Honda hatchback. My sister and I were entertained the entire trip by those sweet puppies. We fought over which one we would keep. I wanted the runt. She wanted the pick of the litter. I can't remember who won because the dog we ended up with was the one we both adored. I named her "Barkey" - I was 5 years old, what do you expect? My sister renamed her and thank goodness she did. "Shaggy" was the best dog a girl could want. Her Mom "Sugar" was white with brown spots on her face that I called freckles. I loved them both and they are the reason I always wanted to have animals in my life.

I have three kids and they couldn't be more different.

My 19-month-old son is demanding and silly. My 6-year-old daughter dances, has tea parties and loves her baby dolls.

My 10-year-old daughter is a total tomboy. She plays basketball, lacrosse, kickball, tetherball; you name it. If it's a sport, she plays it. But this one threw me through a loop... she wants to play football!