Episode 41: Setting Goals That Help You Become Happier with Natalie Tysdal

Brief summary of show:
Do you set new year's resolutions? A lot of people do, and that's great, but you know how it often goes: we make big plans and then we get busy and those plans fall by the wayside and we don't follow through.
I’ve been there, and I’ve learned how to reframe this over the years so I can actually follow through on what I said I wanted to do. I understand the working mom struggle, it can feel like you don't even have time to breathe let alone set goals. But there is no time better than today to get out of the that feeling of being stuck.
Consider this reframe: setting realistic goals instead of resolutions. This is what we’re talking about in today’s podcast episode. Not only that, but how to set goals that help you become happier, healthy and more excited about your life every single day.
Listen in as we talk about:
The top new year’s resolutions that people make -- every year
Why those resolutions never seem to stick
The power in prioritizing goals over resolutions
How to get your family involved in goal setting and vision board planning
The science behind why it takes 21 days to form a habit
My family tradition to get my family involved in goal setting for the last six years
Sign Up for Natalie’s Newsletter
Resources mentioned in the episode:
Connect with Me
Podcast Highlights:
[00:02:00] Happiness and goals
[00:04:00] Identifying what matters most
[00:06:00] Why it takes 21 days to form a habit
[00:08:00] Mastering one thing first
[00:11:00] Word of the year and vision boards
Full transcript of episode:
Click Arrow To See Transcript For Episode 41
Episode 41 Full Transcript:
Natalie: [00:00:00] Hi, everyone. Happy new year. Hope your holiday season was full of fun and special times. It's 2022. And I have a question for you. Do you set new year's resolutions? A lot of people do, and that's great, but you know how it often goes big plans and then we get busy and those plans fall by the wayside and we don't follow through. Well, at least that's what happens for a lot of people. We often hear about new ways to approach big goals and resolutions. But what I want to talk about today is goal setting and overall success in achieving those things that you dream about that you think about and what holds many people back and how you can successfully grow and take positive steps to help yourself every single day of the year. First, what are the most common resolutions people make? And again, Well think about yours right now. Maybe you've identified them and maybe you have a plan already for achieving them in 2022. Here are the top new year's resolutions. And I want to [00:01:00] mention this is year after year. These are the top new year's resolutions. Doing more exercise, losing. Saving money, improving diet, pursuing a new career or a job and spending more time with family. When I left the traditional news business earlier in 2021 and decided to become an independent journalist, all of those things. We're on my list. I was living a life that made my goals almost impossible to achieve. I was getting up in the middle of the night as a morning news anchor. I wasn't eating well because of that. I wasn't able to spend quality time with my family. I had a job that everyone thought was perfect. Dream job. I worked hard over many years to achieve what I did in my career to be a successful anchor, but, you know, Who cares in the end, if your main priorities in life are not achievable because of the situation or the job that you've put yourself in, even if you worked really [00:02:00] hard to get to that goal, I'm here to tell you it's not worth it. If you're not happy. So let's make happy. Goal number one. Okay. You know, over the years I've talked to thousands of experts, authors, entertainers, you name it about their success. It's really what I love about being a journalist is I learn something new every single day. And sharing that with you and now giving you that information on being healthier and happier. That's my passion. So today I want to go deeper in how to successfully set goals so that you can be happier. So let's start with how to set those goals and resolutions, if you want to call it that, I think that there's a stigma around the word resolution. Like if you fail. You are a failure. So I don't like that word in general, but that's just me. I stick with the word goals. It's a simple word. And regardless of when we set those goals, we can start [00:03:00] making changes the new year. Of course, that's a good time to think about it. And even to talk to your family about their goals, but don't feel that you have to wait and make a lofty list of goals only in December. To start in January. So if you haven't set those goals, now that it's past the new year, you're not behind today, tomorrow, or this weekend next month, any time is a good time to improve yourself. So let's talk about what type of goals you want to say. And what I like to say is what really matters to you. Sit down and take some time with this. It's no surprise that most people set health goals. It's why health is a pillar of this podcast in my business. We all want to be healthier, more energized. Feel better and live longer, and same goes for time with family and career goals. So take some time to really ask yourself those questions. What matters most in my [00:04:00] life? Is it your career? Is it time with your loved ones? Is it getting in shape, might be all of those things and that's great. I think this is something that all of us should do as individuals, but also something that we can do as a family. We started an activity this year. As a family here in my family, we found old magazines books, scraps of paper photos. We printed some things from online and we made vision boards. And I love this so much because it's a fun way to dream and visually create inspiration for yourself. It helps you and your kids. Connect with your goals. And the other thing that's really cool about it is it's tangible, you walk by it. You think about it, even when you don't realize that you're thinking about it. Your mind is so much more powerful than you even realize and seeing and thinking regularly about what you want in your life is very, very powerful. So if you want to make a vision board, I have a free download [00:05:00] on my website with a step-by-step guide on how you can do this and can give you some ideas there. You can do it alone. You can do it with your kids. You can do it with your friends, whatever that might be, and you can help them and your kids. Just go for it. You can even let them do it on their own. Just give them a little bit of guidance. And I think that you're going to find that download link to be really helpful in the process of building a vision board. And you can find that by the way, in the show notes, you can also find it@nataliestill.com. So let's talk more now. Setting goals, the vision board, a great way to remind you and inspire you. But what should the goal actually look like? Maybe it's I want to lose weight, but how much more power would it be if you said I want to eat clean? I want to cut out sugar. I want to eliminate soda in my life. maybe it's I want to stop eating out where that's, where my weakness really is doing this. And being very [00:06:00] specific about those goals can really be impactful. And maybe you say to yourself, I want to do all of this for three weeks. Or 21 days, have you heard of the idea that it takes 21 days to really form a habit? A little background in that the idea can be traced back to Psycho-Cybernetics. It's a book published in 1960 by Dr. Maxwell malts, and the book became popular to this day. People reference that 21 days as a real number for forming a habit. And for some people it works, but you know, If you fail before 21 days don't give up because for others, it just takes longer. What it's really about is changing the way you do things that have become habits, maybe. I've done this before hitting the snooze button three times every morning. We'll change that. If you want to get up and exercise in the morning before you have to leave for work or take the kids to school, make that one habit change to your goal. Instead of. Just, I want to get healthier [00:07:00] overall, be very specific, break the goal down and then set new goals. When you've successfully changed that first habit that maybe isn't supporting your overall goal, like being healthier. You know, when I was a news reporter, I love to use this example. And early in my career, right out of college, someone told me don't try to do it all in one. Concentrate on one thing at a time. So for me, when I was sitting on the news desk or out as a reporter, I thought about one thing at a time like today in this live shot, I'm just going to work on smiling because I can be really serious sometimes. And we forget about all those other things I need to work on. I'm just gonna smile. And then on another day it was, I really need to memorize my copy. I'm not gonna worry about smiling, not going to worry about my posture and all the other million things people have told me to do. I'm just going to memorize and. Other days it was other things. But if you just focus on one thing at a time, I promise it's going to help lead to your overall success. I tell the kids that I teach this story and I have them do the same thing. Just one thing, [00:08:00] just really master that one thing and then move on to the next thing, because you know, the brain. It forgets when we try to do too much all at the same time, I also like to use what I call. Maybe you've heard of this. And I think it's, there are different terms for this, but I call it habit stacking. If you regularly make coffee in the morning, like I do. Why not set your water bottle by the coffee pot to remind you to drink a full glass of water before you drink the coffee and also put your vitamins there so that you regularly take your vitamins, whatever it is that you need to do, stack those things that you already do well next to the things that you're trying to do so that you become better at all of those things. And you form that new habit. Maybe your goal is to have time with family, get into the routine of texting. On a Sunday with the things that you all want to do for the week, maybe it's we want to sit down together on Wednesday night or whatever that is. And we want to be sure that our schedules [00:09:00] align, but get in the habit of doing it at the same time every week and stack it next to something else. Like on Sunday night, I often make a list of the things that I need to do for the week. So I am getting into the habit of putting on my list, text the family, set a date that we all get together. At least once we try for three or four times a week, it doesn't always happen with busy kids and all of their schedules. But if you start the habit and you stack it next to something else that you already are good about, I promise you're going to be more successful about it. Also be very specific with your goal. I want to give you that inspiration. Very specific, not just, I want to be healthy, not just, I want to lose weight because if you're not specific, you're not very likely to actually achieve those things. So one more thing I want to tell you has helped my family and me personally, six years ago. I started a yearly theme for our family. It's become a favorite and something. We all look [00:10:00] forward to the week between Christmas and the new year I got the first year. And now this is what everybody likes. I got necklaces and I had printed our yearly word. The first year. It was gratitude. The next year it was tenacity. You get the picture and I write this word. Even at the top of my to-do list every week. It really is top of mind all of the time. the girls got necklaces and my husband and my son, I made little necklaces with a dog tag on it, and now they have, I think we've done it for six years. they have an area where they hang all of those and when they're having a hard week, they wear them. And I my girls wear them all the time, but you know, for the guys, they wear them just to remind them. How much they are loved and what that theme is every year that we can go back to we, wear them, but we say this word in our family prayers. we have just loved this family goal that we have every year. So I encourage you do something like this, even if it's just for yourself, a yearly theme, a yearly word that you can use to inspire yourself. [00:11:00] You might even put it on your vision board. If you're gonna make a vision board, you know, it's also a way to start teaching kids how to set goals and how to use these inspiring parts of their life or words in their daily lives. So I hope that all of this is helpful. I wish you all the best as you head into 2022. And remember it's a daily thing, not just a yearly process that we do new year's Eve heading into a new year. You can start over. Anytime. And let me leave you just with this, give yourself some grace. The one thing I see as I teach kids in high school and even with my own kids and myself is the notion that we have to be perfect. And I like to say. It doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. If you are following the goals that you set for yourself, most of the time, like eating clean 80% of the time, maybe a slip up that's okay. Don't let it derail you jump back in the next day. Keep that vision [00:12:00] board somewhere. You can see. Stay positive and know that you can do absolutely anything that you set your mind to. I'm so glad to have you following this podcast, and don't forget to go to my website for the download. I'm putting together a vision board and hit subscribe to this podcast in whatever podcast player you are using, I would appreciate. So very much, I promise to keep bringing you topics that help you stay motivated with your family, your health and your mindset here in 2022. And I'd love to hear from you on social media. You can find those links also in the show notes, I care about each and every one of you and I pray you have a happy and healthy new year. I'll talk to you next week.