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Episode 95: Unlocking the Power of Self-Awareness: Keys to Achieving Success with Dr. L. Carol Scott

Brief summary of show:

In this episode, we’re talking about how to become more self-aware, and joining me for this conversation is Dr. L. Carol Scott.

Is self-awareness the key to overall success? What is it really, and how can you make sure that you have it?

Dr. L. Carol Scott is a trauma-informed developmental psychologist, TEDx speaker, coach, and #1 International Best-Selling author. Carol brings the SASS—Self-Aware Success Strategies to help you get along better on the adult playgrounds where you play.

Carol knows that your success today is determined by your first seven years of life. And she also knows that it’s never too late for Development Do-Overs. As her coaching client, you bring your unique goals for success, and she pulls out the SASS you need to achieve them. Together, you repattern how you operate in every relationship at the heart of your success.

Also a nationally respected thought leader in early care and education (ECE), Carol is former president of the board for Child Care Aware® of America, and the ECE System Integration Consultant for Early Care Plus, a public benefit technology company revolutionizing access for all parents and caregivers to the ecosystem of ECE services.

Listen in as we talk about:

  • [2:15] What self-awareness is, means and why it's important

  • [3:30] Tips to help our children become self aware

  • [4:55] Mistakes parents may make in early childhood with their kids

  • [8:30] How we can make fixes and repairs in later years

  • [15:15] How do you define success?

  • [17:35] Is it hard to find more self-awareness today vs. years ago?

  • [20:30] The impact of technology on kids and teens

Notes from Natalie:

Connect with Dr. L. Carol Scott

Connect with Me

View Transcript for this Episode

[00:00:00] Natalie: Self-awareness. Is it the key to overall success? What is it and how can you make sure that you have it?

[00:00:10] Natalie: Hi everyone. It's Natalie. How are you? Thank you so much for being here, and if I haven't said it before, I applaud you for taking the 20 minutes to improve yourself by listening to this podcast.

[00:00:20] It is such an honor to have you tune in and share what you learn with your friends and your family. After reporting on health issues from major TV stations across the US for more than two decades, this podcast is the. I hope to continue to bless you and your family with health and wellness topics.

[00:00:39] Today I am talking to international bestselling author, TEDx speaker and success Coach l Carol Scott, with a PhD in developmental psychology. Carol has worked with hundreds of children and families. She also has an MA in Early Childhood Education and Behavior Analysis and a BA in Human Development and family life. She most [00:01:00] certainly understands human behavior and motivation. She's guided by two truths. That I think are very important today. You are not stuck with what you grew up with and it's never too late for development do-overs.

[00:01:13] Listen today as we talk about the importance of self-awareness in early childhood development, common mistakes, parents make, technology and how it impacts us, and yet still helps us teaching critical thinking to kids and our continual need to think this way as adults.

[00:01:32] and also Carol's seven self-aware success strategies in how you can learn them. You're gonna love what you're about to learn today. Thanks again for being here. Let's get started.

[00:01:43] Dr. Scott, good to have you on the podcast. I wanna go right into this concept of self-awareness. What is it? I mean we, we know kind of at a high level what self-awareness is, but why is it so important? Why have you spent so much time on

[00:01:57] Dr. L Carol Scott: this? You know, what I discovered in my [00:02:00] early part of my career working with young children and their families is that it is in the early years that we first really learned to be conscious of ourselves in relationship to others, which I think is.

[00:02:10] Part of self-awareness, being aware of my impact on other people not being like stressed and worried about it and constantly being socially anxious about it. That's like the negative side. The flip side of self-awareness is social anxiety. Mm-hmm. . But to be conscious that I'm a person, you're a person, you and I are different and I have an effect on you, you have an effect on me.

[00:02:32] And so I, what I've discovered, I think over my whole career, is that, that's a pretty essential understanding that we need to, if we didn't get it from, you know, birth to seven, when it was kind of ready for us, then it's time to get it sometime later, because that's essential to healthy relationships for adults.

[00:02:53] Natalie: So let's go to that zero to seven, as you mentioned. Mm-hmm. , for those who have kids in that range, or their thinking of [00:03:00] having

[00:03:00] kids, how do we ensure that we. Giving that to our kids, that we're helping them become self-aware.

[00:03:08] Dr. L Carol Scott: You know, I think the first thing to realize and not be too scared of is that children are building their brains from birth to five, mostly from birth to three when it comes to the interpersonal stuff.

[00:03:19] Their brains are literally being wired by how we interact with them. And so the most important thing is to be aware that this is a. From the moment of birth, this is a unique person. And to treat them with the respect that you would like to be treated as a person to recognize that whatever they're doing right now, they're invested in it.

[00:03:40] They're there in the moment, in the now. So a baby who is reaching for something is working on so many levels, motor, cognitive interaction with the world. They're activating so many different parts of their brain and they don't need you to step in and do it for them. , let them do what they're doing and [00:04:00] observe.

[00:04:00] So I really invite most parents of all ages of children, slow down, drop out of your warp speed adult life. Slow down and just look at what your child is doing and watch, observe, and let them tell you when they want you to intervene. .

[00:04:17] Natalie: Wow. Okay. So what are the most common mistakes other than jumping in and doing it for which so many people, myself included, guilty.

[00:04:26] Mm-hmm. .

[00:04:26] What are some of the other mistakes that we make in early childhood with our

[00:04:30] Dr. L Carol Scott: kids? I think number two on my list would be that we assume that a transitory developmental stage that's expected is an identity, is a permanent. . The classic examples are stranger danger. So children from about eight months to about 18 months go through this period where they're shy of other people.

[00:04:52] They feel like other people aren't safe, and if they get labeled as shy during that [00:05:00] period. Mm-hmm. , which is very common, particularly for girls then for the rest of their lives. Everyone thinks they're shy and they behave, believe they're shy, and they behave as if they. , but in fact it's just a developmental stage that they're going to grow out of.

[00:05:12] And the second one is the toddler, the 18 month to 30 ish month old child who is basically a wild animal. is the way I think of them. They really, a lot of toddlers, right? A lot of toddlers because for the first time they're expressing a whole lot of stuff that's inside of them. What they think, what they feel, what they.

[00:05:33] is all coming to the surface and they don't have the tools to express it. Well. They don't know how to be diplomatic. They don't even know how to really use words to ask for things yet. Mm-hmm. their languages and keeping up with their ability to interact with the world. And so we call them terrible twos, we call them.

[00:05:50] We refer to their emotional reac reactivity as a tantrum instead of, you know, recognizing it as this is, you know, A [00:06:00] moment of frustration that is, has gotten out of control. So I think letting children go through the developmental norms without labeling them and just saying, this is the way they are now, they're going to be different later.

[00:06:13] You know, I'm not gonna be having an 18 year old who has these kind of tantrums that my two year old is having. It's okay. Yeah. And they hear that be present for

[00:06:19] Natalie: them. Right, right. I can only imagine. Now hearing that as a younger child, at any age, you start to tell yourself that's what you.

[00:06:29] Dr. L Carol Scott: And maybe that's, and maybe that's the next one, is that we assume that because they're young and they can't talk, they don't understand what we're saying, but they do.

[00:06:37] Mm-hmm. Receptive language, the ability to understand language way, outpaces the ability to express in language. And so children understand what we're saying about them a long time before we maybe think. . Hmm. Okay. Let's jump

[00:06:52] Natalie: to the next stage. So you, you're saying that that zero to seven age is critical for self-awareness, zero to three, [00:07:00] most important than zero to seven, a different stage.

[00:07:02] Is that what I'm hearing?