Finding Focus: How to Manage ADHD, Digital Distraction, and Overstimulation in Women’s Lives

Natalie Tysdal (02:35)

Theresa, thank you for joining me today.

Theresa Lear Levine (02:38)

Thanks for having me.

Natalie Tysdal (02:40)

I talk a lot about health news specifically for women, but sometimes what we see in our kids ends up being true for us. And there's this revelation later in life of, wait a minute, that's me. Tell me about you and how that happened to you.

Theresa Lear Levine (02:56)

Well, specifically that happened with me with ADHD and my kids. So, little background information, I'm a mom of four boys. So, like I was telling you before we got started, they're 20, 15, 12, and nine. And my oldest was diagnosed fairly young, like early in grade school. And then each one kind of kept getting diagnosed as they got old enough to. And...

I realized, hmm, I don't think that it was dad. And it probably came from me. So I finally got diagnosed, not that I was ever, I never thought I didn't have ADHD. I mean, if I look back over the course of my life, it's presented itself throughout the course of my childhood and adulthood. But a diagnosis hits you a little bit differently than just imagining that something is possible. And so it definitely...

took me down a rabbit hole of exploration for myself and the women that I work with and my kids. And it's been very unifying and I think that it helps me feel seen in a different way.

Natalie Tysdal (04:07)

You know what's interesting about ADHD, and I've always said, if I have it, I don't know if it was created from 28 years in the news business or if we're born with it. mean, do you think that society kind of pushes us to be busy and do multiple things at the same time and multitask and that leads to that type of behavior and that type of... ⁓

that type of issue that we have? Or do you think that it really is just something that you're born with?

Theresa Lear Levine (04:38)

It's a really good question, Natalie. There's strong evidence that ADHD has a genetic component. We see it run in families. We see differences in dopamine regulation and executive function in the networks in the brain. So many people, I think there's a ⁓ biological predisposition, right? But then I do think that environment matters also. I know...

you know, most of my stuff is kind of prefaced by, know, that I help people with ADHD. And a lot of times I'll have people ask me, you know, what about if you don't know if you have it or you don't think you have it, but you still have all these other issues that are kind of along with it? Like, you know, I think it comes down to we're all busy minded these days. I think we all have a lot to juggle and the brain develops in response to stress and stimulation.

Natalie Tysdal (05:20)

Yeah.

Theresa Lear Levine (05:36)

⁓ attachment, structure, sleep, nutrition, like you name it. And so you could have a genetic vulnerability that maybe gets amplified by chronic stress or by trauma. And I think also, especially, you know, thinking about the women that, in both of our audiences,

perimenopause, think also, and menopause exacerbate a lot of ADHD symptoms. And there's a lot of people that feel like, I don't think I felt like I had ADHD before I hit perimenopause, but now I feel like it's here. And so there's just so many different factors, especially with us as women, between hormones and genetics and life and stress that, yeah, it's a very good question that I don't have a clear cut answer for you. Yes.

Natalie Tysdal (05:59)

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it can be both. mean, certainly if you feel like

your attention is divided and you can't find focus, that's paramenopause, many other things, then the things we're gonna talk about today can help you, regardless of the fact if you've been diagnosed or not. And that's really where we wanna go, is finding focus. ⁓ With busy women, we have a million things going on, the dopamine feels good when you pick up your phone. It's like, that's fun.

⁓ So we're all in search of dopamine, whether we know it or not, right? It's great stuff, but we can't just search for that all day long. So let's talk about how you help people and the advice that you would have for ⁓ busy women who are trying to find focus.

Theresa Lear Levine (06:58)

Great stuff.

Yeah, that's a good question because yeah, focus feels like it's in short supply, I think for most of us. I think we need to normalize that dopamine obviously is not bad, right? It's a motivation reward chemical. And it tends to be what makes us feel interested or curious about things or driven. So the problem isn't necessarily dopamine, but it's like how...

Natalie Tysdal (07:20)

It sure does. Yeah.

Theresa Lear Levine (07:43)

easily accessible, like you mentioned the phone, that artificial dopamine has become. And so our phones are perfectly engineered to drip feed it, right? We just know if we need it, we can just pick up the phone. It's there in a second and for as long as we want or need it for, social media scrolling or hopping on YouTube or whatever. And it gives us these tiny little bits of stimulation. So

For busy women who are already exhausted and overstimulated and mentally fried from so many things, whether that's work or the kids or relationships, it feels like it's relief. But what I help women to understand is that focus has nothing to do with forcing yourself to concentrate. It doesn't have anything to do with working harder or trying harder.

I help women to work on regulating and nourishing their nervous system first because when that can feel calmer, and I know that for all the women that I just basically described, it does not feel calm. Like our nervous systems are all kind of like wonky these days. Then the brain can sustain attention more easily if we can nourish the nervous system first. So that might look like, you know, one task instead of trying to like multitask or

doing things in shorter sprints, work or things that we have to do around the house, that kind of thing. Reducing the background noise in what we're doing. Or starting smaller with the things that we tend to resist where we don't feel like we're getting the dopamine from them. And yeah, we can't compete with what the phone can offer us as far as the dopamine. Because a lot of times we're trying to do that from a place of willpower.

Natalie Tysdal (09:36)

Yes.

Theresa Lear Levine (09:36)

And so

there's an identity shift too that comes in with focus because when we're chronically stressed out, our baseline dopamine drops. So we're already lower. So we're seeking that stimulation just to feel normal, like just to get through our day, but it's not restorative. It's just keeping us activated. It's keeping our nervous system in fight or flight and

Natalie Tysdal (10:00)

Mm-hmm.

Theresa Lear Levine (10:06)

reacting instead of responding to things and all of these things are kind of anti-focus.

Natalie Tysdal (10:13)

Yeah, absolutely. I I relate to that so much in and I see that in teenagers today. And we talk about the phone addiction and the anxious generation. If you've read that book, like so much of it is just searching for that dopamine and we don't know why. I mean, we're not going, I need some dopamine. I better pick up my phone. Nobody's thinking that they just know almost an addiction, like an alcoholic. Like I just need just, just, I'm just going to have that little bit.

Theresa Lear Levine (10:25)

Yes.

Natalie Tysdal (10:42)

And so we know it's addictive. know dopamine ⁓ is addictive. So what are some tips that you would have for helping get through that when we can't find that focus? For me, I think of it as discipline, but then I beat myself up if I don't have that discipline that I'm talking about. ⁓ So how do you help people? How do you coach people to get through this?

Theresa Lear Levine (11:08)

Yeah, and I think a lot of people like in our generation too, Natalie, we've been conditioned to think that we have to work harder, try harder, use will use this.

Natalie Tysdal (11:16)

for sure. Yeah, if I just

work harder, I'll get it. And then we're exhausted and we just simply can't physically. I mean, that's why I do health news is we physically have exhausted ourselves from working hard.

Theresa Lear Levine (11:28)

Yeah, so when we tell people that we just need to use more discipline, we're basically telling them to like out willpower these things. Like when we're talking about the phone addiction, it's billions of dollars that have gone into engineering this addiction. And it's like not realistic that we can just use willpower. But I think what works better is like changing environment. Like if we're specifically talking about getting focused back from from our phones and not

shaming the behavior, making your phone less convenient. It's amazing what happens. There's a lot of devices and things out there these days, like the brick and stuff, where you actually have to go scan an actual physical thing somewhere, which you could go put in your car if you're inside the house or somewhere else so that you can't unlock the different apps on your phone. what I like to tell when I'm working with clients on this is that

when you feel that discomfort hit, that is where the emotions and the nervous system work starts. Because when you don't reach for it, then it's like, what are you feeling? What are you afraid of? What's coming up that you think you're missing out on or that feels so uncomfortable that you've been avoiding? And that's where I like to bring in nervous system work and things where you can actually start to in the moment nourish the nervous system and get yourself back on a path of

feeling more calm and more present. ⁓ There's very little presence in being on a phone, scrolling, reading email, you know, all that kind of stuff. And I'm guilty of this too. I mean, one of the things I noticed the most when I started doing EFT tapping was that I suddenly felt like I was in the room with my kids in the moment.

cooking dinner or reading a book or, and I didn't realize how un-present I had been prior to that, if that makes sense. It's not like I recognize, I'm so not present in my life and you know, now I'm more present. It was like, I didn't even have any idea how checked out I was. And I think that comes along with a lot of these addictive habits also. And we do need to walk through the discomfort of like,

Natalie Tysdal (13:36)

Yeah, right.

Theresa Lear Levine (13:50)

putting those things aside or putting limits on them the same way that we would for our kids or whatever else. The problem is that most people just blow right through a screen time limit reminder because all you need to do is press the button, add more time, or yeah, just whatever. I'm just gonna keep going anyway. So you do have to find ways to make it more inconvenient and make it less about willpower and more about environmental changes and then...

Natalie Tysdal (13:56)

Yeah. Yeah.

⁓ completely. They're just annoying, right?

Theresa Lear Levine (14:16)

meeting yourself where you are so that you can tend to the emotions because any discomfort has, there's an energetic blockage there, which with modalities like tapping, hypnotherapy, ⁓ things like that, you can really unblock those things and feel differently. And that's what we're all looking for is to feel better, right?

Natalie Tysdal (14:37)

So I should clarify because we went into the phone thing, are people with ADHD diagnosed or not more prone to be addicted to phone time?

Theresa Lear Levine (14:49)

I think so. Addictive personalities tend to run a little bit ⁓ higher with people with ADHD. ⁓ The research would show it. Yeah. Because I think that's specifically because ADHD involves differences with dopamine regulation. So it's not just about pleasure, it's about motivation. It's about

Natalie Tysdal (14:56)

Yeah. Yeah.

We see it for kids, for sure. So I would think so.

Mm-hmm.

Theresa Lear Levine (15:17)

your interest in things, it's about your drive. So then when that baseline is running lower or it's fluctuating differently, then the brain is going to seek that stimulation so that it feels engaged. So I would say definitely, mean, impulsivity is definitely a, you know, runs higher too with ADHD also. So, you know, I think, and that's an impulse, an impulse to pick up the phone, scroll, you know, make yourself less

Natalie Tysdal (15:32)

Somewhere, that or something else. Yeah.

Theresa Lear Levine (15:46)

uncomfortable, that kind of thing. So yeah, definitely.

Natalie Tysdal (15:49)

Okay, so awareness I'm hearing is like number one. Like, are you aware? yeah, someone might be listening thinking, that's me, finding focus, I'm impulsive, I need that dopamine. So there are people listening going, okay, wait, that's me, or that's someone I know. Other things, I love the environment tip. I find sometimes I leave my phone in the car accidentally because my mind is somewhere else and I'll realize it and then go, I'm just gonna leave it there for a bit.

I'm going to get a few things done. It's just there, but I'm not, go get it. But I have to like restrain myself.

Theresa Lear Levine (16:20)

Yeah.

It always seems like the biggest win

though, doesn't it? Like it's such a win when you actually follow through with it. I know the other day, I did the same thing. I left my phone in the car, I think over two hours passed before I went looking for it. And that felt like the biggest win of the week. Like I didn't even notice it was missing for two hours. Like, ⁓ it was huge.

Natalie Tysdal (16:37)

Thank

Once you know

it's there and it's safe and you're like, but I'm going to get a few things done or I do the same thing in the morning where I'll come downstairs, have my coffee, do my morning routine and I need to go upstairs and get ready. I'm just going leave my phone down here. I'm just going to go get ready in peace and not feel like I have to have all that stimulation all morning because sometimes it's listening to a podcast or just waiting for information to come in emails to arrive.

but I just need to set it aside or put it in focus. Focus mode has been a game changer for me because it shows up on my phone and on my computer. So I'm not getting any notifications. And that kind of thing I would imagine is good for the people you coach as well.

Theresa Lear Levine (17:16)

Hmm.

Oh yeah, that's, mean, I should probably lead with that. I mean, my phone's in do not disturb mode 99.9 % of the time. It pretty much only rings if somebody that's on my acceptable list calls me multiple times. Yeah, and that, I don't think I would get things done. There are times when I've taken it out for like a really important reason, like maybe I'm expecting a service provider to come to the house and I don't wanna miss them coming to the door or something like that. And it amazes me how many buzzes and dings and vibrations and stuff are going off. And I'm like, I could not.

Natalie Tysdal (17:39)

Me too. ⁓

Theresa Lear Levine (17:57)

function. I don't know how people do. It doesn't work for me.

Natalie Tysdal (18:01)

Yeah,

yeah. So what other things would, tips do you give the people? How do you work with people in ⁓ reorganizing their life or the other things that you do? Give me some more tips.

Theresa Lear Levine (18:15)

Yeah, so my work is, it's emotional. Like I'm working mainly with the subconscious and the nervous system. So when I'm working with people, it kind of depends on what their challenges are. If their challenges are focus and organization, then I love to know kind of where this started from, where it began, because it usually didn't just come out of nowhere or just start for somebody. There's usually different patterns that have created this

It's a personality of being unfocused, right? The feelings and the thoughts and the beliefs that we just keep running on repeat become the personality. And usually by the time that someone's gotten to a place of feeling like they're not organized or they don't know how to focus and follow through on things and get things done, it's become more of belief. Like I'm just, I'm not somebody that focuses. I have ADHD, I'm not capable of this. And there's a lot of beliefs that are underlying and beliefs can be changed.

There's, you know, the parts of ADHD that we can't necessarily like change, but we can work with them. We can optimize them. I truly believe that with ADHD, there's almost more pros than cons, in my opinion, but I know not everybody sees it and experiences it that way, and that's okay too, but there's still definitely things that can be made better, that can feel better. I don't think that, you disorganization or lack of focus has anything to do

with intelligence. I have worked with some of the smartest people out there. I think a lot of it has to do with trying to solve problems from the conscious mind. A lot of the super intelligent women that I work with, it's like, we love to just keep going, ⁓ I'll just take another course. I'll just get another degree. I'll just learn something else from a book. And then we realize that we still have the same Groundhog Day of unwanted outcomes in our life.

Natalie Tysdal (19:54)

Yes.

Theresa Lear Levine (20:14)

we're like 10 times smarter than we were before because we just keep learning and learning and learning. But it's almost more frustrating because we're trying to solve the issues from the beta waves and our conscious thinking mind. And that's not where the issues formed. That's not when the patterns installed themselves. Usually the patterns installed themselves before we were a decade old and definitely before we were equipped to question them or

Natalie Tysdal (20:30)

Hmm.

Yeah.

Theresa Lear Levine (20:43)

know, do anything to change them. And it's as we start to really unwind that, that things get really interesting. But literally, I mean, your personality changes because because those feelings and beliefs and thoughts aren't repeating themselves in the same way. And you're stepping into a new a new identity, which is unfortunately terrifying for most people, but necessary to to make the upgrades and changes that we really want. And I'd like to think that

Natalie Tysdal (21:05)

Ha ha.

Theresa Lear Levine (21:10)

the work that I do and guide people through is makes it easier and more comforting.

Natalie Tysdal (21:16)

Yeah, you touched on this and I know you believe this in doing research on you that we've labeled it a disorder and yet it is such a gift.

Like we're talking about ways to tame it, but it's like saying, how do you tame the lion? Like, you know, what a beautiful, beautiful animal. Like it really is like, I know my creativity comes from this type of brain. And I know my outside of the box thinking and ideas come from that. I'm never linear thinking. my husband always laughs because we'll be, we'll be at my son's volleyball game. And by the time we're done with the game, he's like, you just accomplished more.

in that afternoon than I could have accomplished. know, like in between the game, I'm on Amazon and I'm planning something and I'm, you know, I'm doing a lot of things. I try to focus during the game, but I'm always thinking of things. So he laughs that that's a gift.

Theresa Lear Levine (22:12)

I'm the same way. I always have like my remarkable tab and my phone at the game. And if there's a break or a time out or whatever, it's like that I'm taking notes or something. It's it's inspiring to me though. I think it's a creative environment to be like in a kid's event or whatever else. And there's, it takes you down to a different level where you're not when you're in like your work day. I don't know how to explain that, but it's, yeah, we are. We're highly creative as, know, ADHD entrepreneurs. We've got great.

Natalie Tysdal (22:16)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Theresa Lear Levine (22:41)

pattern recognition too. I love that aspect of ADHD. And we're such fast thinkers, right? And then like, nobody's stopping us when hyper-focus sets in. Like, I wish that was something that we could harness a little bit easier, but I do feel like the days when the focus is a little bit, you know, out and about do get, they get evened out by the days when it's like, like you talked about, it's like, can't imagine, like, how did you accomplish so much in such a short time? I think it all, so I try to be,

Natalie Tysdal (23:07)

you

Theresa Lear Levine (23:10)

give myself more grace and compassion on the days when I'm a little all over the place because I know there's gonna be another day that comes in and just totally makes up for it.

Natalie Tysdal (23:21)

Yeah, yeah, but the awareness of it again, like you know who you are, you know you're doing it and that's fine. You can you can harness it in a in good way. And then on those other days like today, I'm just not having that. That's OK, because I accomplished so much yesterday. Yeah, yeah. I would love to give people 20 minutes just went by so fast, ⁓ give people information on where they can find you and learn from you.

Theresa Lear Levine (23:36)

Yes.

The easiest place is to go to my website. It's my name, Theresa with an H, learlevine.com. So yeah, just teresalearlevine.com. You'll find I've got a free community that's linked there. ⁓ You could book a call if you'd like to talk about things. There's great resources that you can request that are also free. And that's the best place to find it all.

Natalie Tysdal (24:08)

And I follow you on Instagram too. So I know that you're there helping people and thank you. think it's really fun to learn from other people who think the way we do and being in a community like that can help. you go, that's me. I could learn from that and do the same thing you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice to talk to you, Teresa. Thank you.

Theresa Lear Levine (24:23)

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me on today. I appreciate it.