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Episode 30: Tips to Developing a Resilient Mindset in Hard Moments with Teri Karjala

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Brief summary of show:

This week on the podcast, I sit down with Teri Karjala, a Transformational Life Strategist, the founder of Creative Counseling Center and Talking With Teri, as well as the best-selling author of Be The Magic of You: Tools to Transform Your Life with a foreword written by Jack Canfield.

Teri is a thought leader in female empowerment and entrepreneurship. Today, professionals and women entrepreneurs hire her to ignite the magic within. Because most are consumed by fear, held back by unconscious limiting beliefs, and lack the tools to get back on track.

Teri has combined her 24 years of counseling background with energy psychology and applied the principles of quantum physics to transform people’s lives by clearing the unconscious blocks that hold us back.

Listen in as we talk about:

  • What to do when you feel triggered

  • Why we get in our own way and doubt ourselves

  • How to show up for yourself

  • Tips to process hard moments and emotions

Teri is Coach with Forbes and her podcast: Talking With Teri is a top 100 podcast featuring various local and national celebrities. She has been featured on many television, podcasts, and radio shows, including Hay House.

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Resources mentioned in this episode

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Podcast Highlights:

[00:05:49] Why we hold ourselves back

[00:08:21] Bringing awareness to our thoughts

[00:13:19] How to listen to our intuition

[00:16:11] Processing our emotions

[00:18:24] How to identify what you're feeling from a counselling perspective

Full transcript of episode:

[00:00:30] Natalie: Hi everyone. Well, you know that I'm all about family health and mindset. Why mindset? Well, this is a big one. How you look at the world and how you respond to challenges. It really changes everything. My guest today has been working in this realm for 25 years. Terry Cardella is a licensed professional counselor and highly credentialed trauma therapist.

[00:00:51] And she's a life transformation strategist. We're going to talk about. Y we get in our own way, how to show up for yourself and ways to get what you really want out of life. We're also going to talk about a whole lot of other things. So before we get started, I want you to take a moment, go to my website, Natalie

[00:01:09] Sign up for my newsletter. You're going to find that at the bottom of the front page, I give you strategies in my newsletter each week. For turning around your mindset again, it's Natalie Tisdel T Y S D a Now onto my interview with Terry. Terry joining me now. And I want to dive straight into mindset because I think it took me Terry A. Little bit later in my life to realize the power of positive minds.

[00:01:38] Teri: I agree.

[00:01:39] Yeah, so let's jump in. I love talking about this as we were talking a little bit offline I've taken my 25 years of counseling experience, combined it with energy psychology, and then applied the principles of quantum physics to really help women entrepreneurial.

[00:01:52] Expand their businesses that became a bigger impact. And so I truly, truly believe that the number one mistake that we make is our mindset. Um, We can, we can go and we can get trainings and we can learn how to do journalism. We can learn how to do broadcasting. We can learn how to do. Social media, we can learn all these other skills that's required of our business for it to be successful.

[00:02:15] But when it comes to mindset as, you know, we can get ourselves in the way of, of creating a better success story and whatever that looks like. And that's it not only in business, but in our life too. Um, And that also incorporates into the family life as well, you know, with our, with our children and with our families.

[00:02:33] And so I truly believe how we show up. It has an impact on everything that we do, everything that we touch.

[00:02:39] Natalie: When Debbie, you always known this, is this something just in your counseling background? And is that just something that I don't remember growing up, hearing in my generation, the importance of.

[00:02:52] Teri: You know, and it's funny that you asked that because when I share this little, what I'm about to share, people are like, there's no way when people know me at this point, I used to be so negative and I was the, I was the victim and I didn't know. Right. I didn't have an easy upbringing you know, to say the least and I, I had to overcome because I, I suffered from the story of, I wasn't good at.

[00:03:15] And no matter how hard I tried, I simply wasn't enough. In second grade, I got held back in second grade and that's something that I had never wanted to share with anybody because I I had dyslexia. And so learning was very hard for me. so I had these, these belief systems at home that I'm not good enough.

[00:03:31] And then I have at school I'm being held back, which tells me. I'm not good enough. Right. Then I had other students tell me you must be a failure because you flunked second grade. Right. So I had the stories of a lifetime that bogged me down and I just, I played that script over and over again. And so schooling was really hard for me.

[00:03:55] It was difficult. I was at this victim. Right. And I think a lot of folks, we look at the brain and we look at the programming, you know, Th from age zero to age eight is when the brain is forming. And so that messaging create the foundation and our brain formula. It's from our reptilian part of the brain, up to our frontal cortex of the brain.

[00:04:16] Now it, you know, it's around age 25 or 26, some research says, you know, 25, some says 26 is when our brain gets fully developed and that's our frontal cortex of the brain. So we now have the foundation. The brain develops upon the brain. So if I have this foundation of these limiting beliefs, it does carry into and becomes like a, almost like a lens, you know, we have like these invisible goggles on, right.

[00:04:41] And we have all these lenses that represent certain things in our life and we play out. In our life based on those experiences. And then, you know, as we were talking offline is a lot of that is unconscious. These unconscious beliefs get created out of this.

[00:04:59] Natalie: So interesting because as you're talking about the goggles, the lens, and I'm thinking.

[00:05:04] So many kids, I work with kids now and teaching in high school and such a new fun job for me. But I look at these kids and I think they've all had such different upbringings. They all see things differently. And I don't know what happened to them when they were eight years old or the second grade that they might've had to redo.

[00:05:25] And they don't know that that might be the thing. Holding them back or having them think I might not be good enough or so let's get into where, and here we are at, at our age, I think a lot of people still don't know unconsciously. I am holding myself back and I might not know what that thing is that deal

[00:05:49] Teri: with that.

[00:05:50] I agree. I think a lot of us, and I think this is, I think this is all evolutionary, right? Like we're always expanding and growing. Right. And that's why I always encourage people to get curious and to continue to be a lifelong learner. Right. And you know, and, and here's the thing with these belief systems, you know, I always tell people that they serve.

[00:06:08] To a certain degree, they serve and serve and serve. And then at some point they no longer serve us. And if we try to carry them forward, that's when we start to have stumbling problems. Like we start to recognize like, Ooh, something isn't working, you know, I'm still, you know, I'm on this like, you know, hamster wheel and I'm not getting the results I'd like to have.

[00:06:28] And so that's when people start to know. Hey, there's something, there's something off, there's something that's not working. And that's usually an indicator for us that there's, there's something here that's holding us back and, and having people take a deep, deeper look at that. And so there's lots of different things that are, that can be signals, are being triggers.

[00:06:45] And so, you know, also noticing for people like, what are those triggers, you know, in conversations, are you getting triggered by someone, you know, giving you feedback? You know, cause triggers are usually a pretty good indicator that A little area that we could work on, right?

[00:07:02] Natalie: Yeah. Okay. So tip number one, I'm going to hearing from you is when you feel triggered, when you, and that's a new word, I don't remember using that as a kid, but maybe the last five, 10 years when you feel, or maybe it wasn't.

[00:07:14] I just didn't know. When you feel like something you, you get that yucky feeling or whatever it is triggering, and you go, you have to stop. Why did that bother me so much usually after, because in the heat of the moment, you're just, yeah,

[00:07:28] Teri: it doesn't. Yeah, it, it, but if we take a moment and we quiet our minds and we ask, start asking some questions, what are those buttons that get pushed and what is the, you know, cause some of those buttons get pushed a lot, especially for.