Brief summary of show:
In this episode, we’re talking about why confidence matters.
How do we build, or better yet, how do we learn confidence? Is it even possible?
Well, the short answer is yes, but it's not something that happens overnight. I give you my best tips for developing confidence within yourself – and it’s a bonus because it works for our kids too!
Listen in as we talk about:
[3:05] How to know if you’re confident
[4:30] Where to start with building confidence
[8:15] How to help our own kids become more confident
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Notes from Natalie:
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View Transcript for this Episode
[00:01:16] Natalie: Hi everyone. It's Natalie, thank you so much for listening in and supporting this podcast. You know, what means the world to me and I am so appreciative of the support, the kind messages, and for all you are doing to help the podcast grow today, want to talk about...Confidence. It's a topic. I have spent a lot of time researching and observing as a journalist also as a mom and as a high school teacher, I think I realized as a young TV journalist, how confidence played into the success of those who appeared on my TV show also how it played a big part in the success of experts and others I saw people with a lot of confidence, but not always as much knowledge or experience do very well in presenting themselves. And then I saw others who were brilliant, full of great information and talent, and yet they lacked a certain amount of confidence. They struggled. So how do we build, how do we learn or can we learn confidence?
[00:02:18] Is it even possible? Well, the short answer is. I think it is, but it's not something that happens overnight. So think about this for. Are you confident, really dive into and think about it.
Do you think you're confident? How do you know if you are? Well, I think I go in and out of confidence, but you know, what gives me confidence in what I believe most people need to have confidence.
[00:02:45] I'm going to give you a series of things today, but I want to start with experience. So experience the more. Understand learn, grow, fail, and do the more confidence we're going to have doing something for the first time. Well, we know that's hard for everyone, but once you learn the ropes, you do it over and over you gain confidence.
[00:03:08] One of my daughters, our middle daughter is an actress. She loves to be on stage and in front of the camera. And I can't tell you how many times that I have said to her. No, you're lying. Like you can say them in your sleep without even thinking about it, then you're going to be able to really act and feel that part.
[00:03:29] The beautiful thing is that she has been acting for 10 years. She's a senior in high school going off to college and guess what? She stopped. Well, musical theater and marketing. She's going to combine the two in her career and we're so proud of her, but she has taken that to heart, know it, get the experience.
[00:03:46] And then when you walk on stage, or even for me, you get in front of the camera, you're not as nervous because you have that experience that gives you confidence.
[00:03:55] Natalie: So experience will build confidence. But what about before you have that experience? You know, you have to start somewhere when you're building something new and you want to feel confident. Let's talk about having clear vision experience. Number one, vision. My tip. Number two, you can't build something new. If you're not clear on what it is that you want, identify that goal.
[00:04:22] Have a vision. I like to say that you can change the vision. You can change the goal. There's nothing wrong with that, but not having a vision or a goal. That's a problem. Maybe it's a job you wanted. Set that goal, maybe it's a physical goal. You want to achieve like building muscle or dropping weight.
[00:04:40] Those things are only possible. If you set the goal and you have a vision and yes, having confidence matters when working to achieve those goals after you've set the clear vision, guess what's now. Have a plan. Do you have a plan? Believe me. I know what it's like to get caught up in the business of life and not even have time to write out my personal plans.
[00:05:03] It might be driving the kids every day, keeping the house, clean, cooking, trying to exercise, building my business plan. All of that can get in the way. But if you make your plan first before all of those things. You will see more success without a plan, you simply will not accomplish your goal. You probably won't feel very good about yourself and therefore you won't be very confident.
[00:06:33] Natalie: Okay. Tip number three, stand tall. What do I mean by that? So much of what I have witnessed in confident people over the years in television. Is around their physical habits. So maybe you don't have the most confident habits right now. That doesn't mean that you can't practice them and get better. And it is a practice behavior.
[00:06:56] Once you see how making eye contact, speaking up, holding your head high, how that really works, you will do this more often and you'll do it without thinking about it. I can't tell you how many times I've told my kids. Pull your shoulders back, stand up high. And I know that's one of those naggy things that maybe moms say to kids, but it goes along with your confidence, if you are standing tall and you are having that physical appearance of being a confident person, it starts to build in your mind as well.
[00:07:30] So my third tip stand tall. by the way, I want to point out that everything I'm talking about right now, it does apply to our kids. It is so important to me that I empower the kids in my life, those in my classroom, as a teacher and my own three kids,
[00:07:45] Natalie: how do we help them become more confident? Well, practice one of those important things, I'm sure if you work with kids in any capacity, even as a parent, you know that they are a culture of instant gratification wanting to be good at something over. Wanting to be famous. I used to have young people come to me at the TV station when they were on tours or when they were interning and they would say, I want to be the TV anchor naturally.
[00:08:11] I would reply with, well, you don't start as the TV anchor. I was a videographer editor reporter producer all before and many years of experience before I was the TV anchor and that scares many of them, but those who are strong and really determined, and they're willing to put the work in, well, they are going to work their way up.
[00:08:32] We have to be willing to put the work in and we especially need to help young people find their confidence by putting in the work and earning their success because, you know, Earned success. Does that builds confidence, simply handing someone the job. And I mean this with our kids too, simply handing something, or even as a parent, doing it for your kids, makes them feel like they're not capable.
[00:08:58] So earning their success, making their bed, cleaning their room, helping cook dinner that builds confidence at an early age because they know that they're capable. So earned success builds confidence. Here's another way I think we can help ourselves become more calm. Help others. There truly is just something magical about giving that helps us grow.
[00:09:23] It helps us feel good. So I make it a point and I would love for you to make it a point to help others. What does that mean? Volunteering, mentoring, reaching out to friends, asking how you can help. However, that outreach looks to you. For me, it's teaching. I am filling. Every day by the high school kids, I work with seeing them learn and grow just in seeing my own kids to learn and grow.
[00:09:50] That gives me confidence. If you're struggling with feeling insecure, I promise you giving back finding purpose by helping others will help you build your own confidence. What does that look like for you? How can you take something you have learned, or maybe a skill that you have something simple or something complicated and give that, or help others with that?
[00:10:15] I want you to really think about this because I think it is a missing component in the lives of many people, young and old. I mean that for our kids, finding ways to give back, I mean that for our parents who get lonely. And need a way to feel purposeful. I mean that for grandparents spending time with their grandkids or volunteering in schools, feeling like they have a purpose, There are some people who would rather sit home because they're not confident. They don't want to get out and practice something or volunteer. This can be a vicious cycle that will continue if you don't break out of that mode and simply treat. By the way, if you're looking for more on building confidence in kids specifically, you'll find an article on my website, Natalie dot com.
[00:11:03] Some kids need a little more help finding their confidence. And there certainly are things that we can do as parents and teachers and mentors to help them. You'll find my article, the five tips for raising competent kids again on my website, Natalie tisdale.com for now. I hope that you can remember these things stand tall, give back.
[00:11:24] Make a plan, have a vision, set your goal, and then be proud of what you've done. Confidence. It is a beautiful thing and I want to help you work on it, build it and grow from it. I'll talk to you again very soon.